she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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