My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
