i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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