Don't you send me to vm
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
