you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
