There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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