I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
