The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
