Jerry, you need to find god
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Randomize
