I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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