why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
