How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
