we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
