Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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