This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
false alarm, still single
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
