bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Randomize
