I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
