I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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