did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
