At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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