You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
