My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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