I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
