lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
She's the barista slut.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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