That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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