she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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