If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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