"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
My ATM looks so different sober.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
