you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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