i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
No more Irish car bombs ever.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
i now understand why vodka
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
