Just fell off a train. Bad.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
