Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
