dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
