last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
