Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
