White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
