I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
