I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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