my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Everclear isn't food dammit
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
