there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
