Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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