plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
