It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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