alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
