Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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