Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
