i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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