pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
