dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
