I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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