That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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