HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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